PREGNANCY CRISIS DECISION FLOWCHART
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Do not ask what the sigh meant. Salty, golden carbs speak louder than words. Hand them over in silence and back away.
Firm, slow thumb circles on the lower back. Preempt the ache before she even realizes it's starting.
"Fine" is the loudest word in the English language. Deploy buttery, golden, melted cheese immediately to reset the room.
She actually meant it! Throw on matching hydrating face masks, lie on the bed, and quietly binge your favorite comfort show.
Do not wake the dragon. Drape the softest blanket, gently massage feet through woolly socks, and tiptoe backwards out of the room.
Growing fingernails and retinas burns serious energy. Cold crisp fruit + salty crunch is the ultimate first-trimester recharge.
Say: "I am so sorry, my lungs had no right to exhale that loudly." Hand over the warm gooey cookie bowl as tribute.
You breathed like a silent acoustic ninja. Reward her with a slow, relaxing scalp massage while keeping your mouth shut.
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