The coffee group wait when you’re the last in the queue…

A personal story: One of the hardest things I felt in my last few weeks of pregnancy was that in my coffee group I was the last in the queue. Everyone had a due date juuust before me and it felt torturous.

Coffee group: A group of local pregnant women all due at the same time who go to a pre-natal class together and subsequently form a support network once the babies are born.

In our group of twelve glowing, tired, swollen-bellied pre-mamas one by one announcements would pop up in our group chat. Baby X was born this morning at 3 am, we’re tired but so happy. Baby Y was born after a 1 hour labour at home today, we are so in love… you get the idea. After eleven babies my patience levels were just through the roof, it wasn’t their fault, my own situation had just made it worse. My darling little princess was not only the last in our group but also decided to come 9 days late!

Any pregnant women can attest to how slow time feels when you’re at the tail end of your pregnancy. (The flip side of Mamas with newborns who blink and their child is already starting school). It’s a very niche problem, only for the few of us who are a) in a coffee group and b) who are the last ones in the line, but hey we all need someone to empathise with us right? Well, here I am, and I’m here to tell you there is a silver lining in all of this - just you wait…

While all my eleven other Mamas were in the trenches, and I was at home bingeing tv and eating apple pies like no tomorrow. They were all documenting their early days, in real time in the group chats. So while I waited, I was being hand delivered the most incredibly real, raw and amazing information on what to expect, and then also how to handle it. This was baby gold!

When my time finally came, I was SO much more prepared for the event and subsequent chaos that followed when my own little darling showed her face finally (She had to be ejected through the sun-roof in the end as she was showing absolutely zero signs of wanting to make her way out even though my waters had broken). When I had my first round of problems those Mamas were there for me, and like a group of wise elders they showed up for me with fresh out of the oven information.

So what i’m trying to say, is please join a coffee group if you can, whether in person or online. But find a supportive one too, if you’re not feeling the vibe hop over to another one. And if you’re the last in the line, don’t fret, have patience, your time DOES come!

Oh and if you’re the first in the group, I haven’t forgotten you either. Firstly, thank you for your service. And secondly, if you are feeling like you’re walking in the dark with your own group, perhaps straddle two groups, one in person and one online, and then you have the support of the Mamas before you, but also the local ones you can impart wisdom onto, or get advice from the Mamas who have already researched the trouble you’re going through even if they’re slightly behind themselves.

Everyone’s collective knowledge will see you through. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child.